The Disclaimer

This is the first of a pair of poems I wrote last night (well, yesterday morning, if you must split the hair), and I love it. It just came out of me when I was trying to sleep, and I could think of nothing but the first paragraph, laying it out, planning the word-age, and I couldn't operate until I wrote it out. There was no stopping me after the first line.

The Disclaimer
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And here I feel a slight disclaimer
toward all who should want to lay her -
a witch, a harpy, the devil, she -
though now it seems with none but me.

I've chased her through dreams and real'ty,
quested through movies too shitty for me -
Borne gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh
all to attract the attention of her!
But now as unrequited my love may be
I pray that someday she'll return to me.

I've painted a picture - dreary and bleak -
of a boy-meets-girl story doomed to fail
But before you get the wrong idea,
I am no extraordinary male.
My list of faults goes on and on
the list is long
my days are short.
A litany of protests you could level to me
but the same volley pierces you too, you see!

For I may have been short, stupid or cold,
but never once did I see you grow bold.
'One Missed Call' was not displayed.
My concerns remained unweighed -
or calculated against the greatest of schemes,
but I digress! I've fallen back to the oldest routines -

Of throwing blame to where it could deserve to exist,
but it's not my place to judge your deeds...
well, maybe it is,
because you did them to me.
I've been wronged,
and in turn wronged -
and will do both to others again.
But in the words of an old friend
"Life Goes On!"
That advice I now lend.

To no one but me,
taking only my own pity,
carelessly thrown on a Thursday night -
She did this to me! I could point and wave,
and go on for days and days.
But now I should stop this whine
and give you a dotted line to sign.

This is a disclaimer
if you ever want to date her.
She could be your destiny,
or rip your heart asunder,
just as she once did to me.
The balls in your court, so the saying goes -
carefully consider what your love sows -
Now's the Time:

____________________________ (signature on the line)
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I actually like reading this one.